As many of my fellow PR professionals know, travel is part of the job. For some of it, airports can be our second home.
Well, I’ve decided I want to run away from home.
This past week, I needed to be in Dallas for a client meeting.
I normally have a small carry-on bag ready for just such ocassions so I’m pretty much packed and ready to go at a moment’s notice. Usually, I breeze right through security. I never wear laced-up shoes (unlike the idiot in front of me who choose to wear hiking books), no big chunky metal jewelry and my laptop easily slips from my purse. I’m a regular Speedy Gonazalez when it comes to getting to the front of the line.
This time, however, a TSA security guy singled me out as if I were Carlos the Jackal, asking me to please step aside to search my bag. I’m thinking…gee, it’s the same bag that has whipped through security the last nine trips…what’s up? So, he opens my bag, and in a snide voice says, “Well, I guess someone doesn’t think she has to follow the ziplock bag rule.”
Huh?! He proceeds to remove a tiny tube of toothpast, a freebie facial wash from Clinique, and a 99 cent hairspray. So, I guess if any of them were made from C4, a ziplock bag would stop the blast? Can someone explain this to me? He’s wearing gloves, the items were in a clear plastic zippered section of the suitcase…but because I don’t fund the folks from Glad I’m a potential terrorist?
Meanwhile, I’m allowed to carry an MP3 player on the plane, which must be turned off lest I down the plane’s communications systems. Does no one else see how ridiculous this is? Who needs lighters and knives if we all just turn our iPods on at the same time?
I finally cleared security, without toothpaste or hairsray, only to realize my next lapse in judgement was flying US Air, which has become the red-headed stepchild of the airline industry. I knew I was in trouble while I sat waiting for my delayed flight and saw the pilot with a banana hanging out of his pocket and one of the flight crew chowing down on pasta out of a a gallon sized ziplock bag (should have run into her before I hit security). Guess even they can’t score a bag of pretzels.
I also noticed a great deal of carry-on luggage. Guess that’s because they now charge $15 to check your bags. So, it’s every man for himself getting on the plane and snagging a bit of overhead space. Just don’t work up an appetite or thirst because they’ll charge you for a glass of water. Knowing this, I quickly grabbed a sandwich and water from the airport equivalent of a roach coach across from the gate.
US Air doesn’t even have a pre-recorded safety video. I guess that’s okay though, it gave the flight crew something to do. They didn’t do much else during the flight besides make a quick pass through the cabin trying to sell food like beer guys at a baseball game. There weren’t many takers, so they sat down and kept each other company for the rest of the flight. There were no headsets to hand out because there was no in-flight entertainment…even though we were trapped for four hours. And they only had to make one pass for garbage and to make sure we weren’t going to down the plane by listenting to music before we landed.
I’m actually surprised I didn’t have to put a quarter in the lavatory door to use the faciliites. Guess they haven’t identified that cash cow yet.
As we landed and deplaned, we didn’t even get the usual perky round of “bye, bye….see ya…have a good trip” litany from the chirpy at the front of the plane. I think the crew had already left…they were probably headed to the nearest fast food concession.
While I share this story with both chagrin and some humor, it is an important lesson in a tight economy about being penny wise and pound foolish. Organizations like US Air are so focused on the bottom line that they have forgotten the customer experience is king. I, for one, will be avoiding them in future.
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